I am a bit more stable in the pressure department until today that is....the headache from the meds and constant up and down is making me crazy....I am also getting puffy today which is not pretty.
I have been thinking alot lately about this time I have had to just sit and be pregnant...There are many good things like I get to enjoy just knowing she is in there kicking the heck out of my internal organs and ribs:) she is a little boxer I know it....How many people work for a place that allows for things like this to happen and still be allowed the time you need after delivery to be with and bond with your baby. I am so lucky.
A con of bedrest while in the hospital is that you have nothing to do but sit and be in your own thoughts...scary really it is....you can start to go a bit mad in your own head as at least for me I have time to overthink every decision, wow it is like giving yourself therapy.
I wonder what she is going to be like? will she look like Chloe? will she get Brady's good hair-straight, brown and thick? Will my issues and her needing to be born early put her at a disadvantage?
I also wonder how Chloe is going to handle this next few months with baby at the hospital and her not being able to see her? Will get her back into the routine that has been broken in the last 12 days?
I have to much time in my own head-a head that is throbbing anyway.....I have to watch more junk TV now, I never knew there was so much nothingness on TV. I think when this is all over I will stick with my Tivo Shows and books,
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Yeah I have a computer again- 11 more days
So I am so happy today as I can blog again about my journey and what a crazy time it has been since I blogged...
Feb 3rd-I finally got into the specialist my OB recommended to see what if anything else could be done about my pressures...if I would have known..
I was admitted to United Hospital that day with the hope of increasing some meds and going home in 2-3 days...well 8 days later here I am but in a bigger room. I have almost tripled the one bp med I was on and anyone who works with me may remember how loopy I was when I did this in the begging, good times. Nothing has really changed them all that much no matter how many meds they keep giving me. I am holding a little more stable for me (pregnant) but not a normal person. I have had a splitting headache for over 2 weeks which is also a huge concern for the doctors right now....I had a head CT and my brain and head is clear and pretty as the dr said...I guess a bonus is no crazy brain tumors right>
The nutty part of this for me has been that my OB has transferred my care and I now 3-4 different drs working on my case and they all had a little different opinion. I finally had it yesterday and told them we need a plan or one idea we are all working on because it is to hard to keep going up and down when I am not really getting better.
I will most likely deliver her on Feb 21st which is over the 32 week point. Sydney is doing wonderful right now going crazy in ribs all day long. She has no harm from this craziness that we can see which is good.
I have met with NICU doctors which is where Sydney will spend the first 4-8 weeks after she is born most likely....they are great and this NICU is the very best in the metro so I am confident with all the people that I have met here that Sydney and I are in good hands....It is a little nerve racking because I am on so many more meds this time that it could take longer to stablize me and my bp and there is a great risk to her at start of csection....good thing I did my last one here so they have my chart and know that I crashed on the table when I got my spinal so they are going to bring a bigger nicu/surgical team in to ensure we get the baby out quickly because when I crash essentially the placenta stops giving her blood....It is scary but we know it so we can be prepared for it right now which I like, having a plan.
Brady has been doing an amazing job with Chloe-I dont get to see them everyday but he is doing so awesome with her....I think this has been good for her so she becomes a little more daddy dependant so when we actually bring Sydney home she is not so mommy, mommy all the time.
I miss them so much, Chloe has only been up a couple of times because my first room was so small miss little destructo had it ripped apart in 5 minutes. I am in a new room and there is more chloe space so that is awesome.
Brady will be able to make it to the state this time as we are having her on Monday so he will be safe to leave on Thursday am if the kids make it.....I am a good wife and sister in-law for making this still work, I think it will come in handy when I want something later:)
I have to go online shop now as I have been without a computer for a week, I will keep you updated if anything changes but I am digging deep to get through the next few days.
Feb 3rd-I finally got into the specialist my OB recommended to see what if anything else could be done about my pressures...if I would have known..
I was admitted to United Hospital that day with the hope of increasing some meds and going home in 2-3 days...well 8 days later here I am but in a bigger room. I have almost tripled the one bp med I was on and anyone who works with me may remember how loopy I was when I did this in the begging, good times. Nothing has really changed them all that much no matter how many meds they keep giving me. I am holding a little more stable for me (pregnant) but not a normal person. I have had a splitting headache for over 2 weeks which is also a huge concern for the doctors right now....I had a head CT and my brain and head is clear and pretty as the dr said...I guess a bonus is no crazy brain tumors right>
The nutty part of this for me has been that my OB has transferred my care and I now 3-4 different drs working on my case and they all had a little different opinion. I finally had it yesterday and told them we need a plan or one idea we are all working on because it is to hard to keep going up and down when I am not really getting better.
I will most likely deliver her on Feb 21st which is over the 32 week point. Sydney is doing wonderful right now going crazy in ribs all day long. She has no harm from this craziness that we can see which is good.
I have met with NICU doctors which is where Sydney will spend the first 4-8 weeks after she is born most likely....they are great and this NICU is the very best in the metro so I am confident with all the people that I have met here that Sydney and I are in good hands....It is a little nerve racking because I am on so many more meds this time that it could take longer to stablize me and my bp and there is a great risk to her at start of csection....good thing I did my last one here so they have my chart and know that I crashed on the table when I got my spinal so they are going to bring a bigger nicu/surgical team in to ensure we get the baby out quickly because when I crash essentially the placenta stops giving her blood....It is scary but we know it so we can be prepared for it right now which I like, having a plan.
Brady has been doing an amazing job with Chloe-I dont get to see them everyday but he is doing so awesome with her....I think this has been good for her so she becomes a little more daddy dependant so when we actually bring Sydney home she is not so mommy, mommy all the time.
I miss them so much, Chloe has only been up a couple of times because my first room was so small miss little destructo had it ripped apart in 5 minutes. I am in a new room and there is more chloe space so that is awesome.
Brady will be able to make it to the state this time as we are having her on Monday so he will be safe to leave on Thursday am if the kids make it.....I am a good wife and sister in-law for making this still work, I think it will come in handy when I want something later:)
I have to go online shop now as I have been without a computer for a week, I will keep you updated if anything changes but I am digging deep to get through the next few days.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 8-9 Learning to be Paitent
I have a paitence them going on in my head right now because I am not in control of this situation but they are running mighty thin today.
Over the course of this weekend my BP has taken a turn for the worse steadily increasing since Friday night topping out at 171/108 last night before bed and not really going down....I have been following the DR orders and have not really been doing anything for those of you who know me well this sitting around stuff is hard but I have been doing it, totally letting go of work and just trying to find peace.
Today I had my regular "weekly" date with my OB who said well let's get you checked into the hospital and do some testing/monitoring and I would like to get a second opinion before I make any decisions.
Down to Labor and Delivery I go and when she says what room I am going to be in...I laugh a little and say I know which one I have been it 5 times in 2 years now:) We go through all the motions and testing all the while even laying down in a quiet dark room does not bring down the BP below 160/100. The nurse says there is no way he will let you leave here....15 minutes later she comes back to tell me I can go home but that I have to see the specialist today or tom am at the latest, the DR will be right in.
My labs all come back that my organs are functioning fine right now and I don't have toxemia or pre-clampsia so that is a bonus but I am at high risk of having a stroke from the overall BP.....
Dr tells me that I can go home and he wants me to page him as soon as I am done with the DR and we will make the plan then. I really wanted him to give me the steroids that are needed for the lungs today as I don't know how much longer I can go on like this....my head is killing me....but he said maybe we can do more meds or they will have another solution...lets cross that bridge later....I am not really happy with that answer, I know how awful I feel but am trying to go with it as I cannot control everything.
I haven't heard from the specialist as of 230pm so I call the DR and get their number only to find out that didn't see the part of needing it to be today or early tomorrow so can they call me back and again here I wait....
Don't even get me started on Disability/Benefits providers needing me to give them the same information 6 times and they still don't get anything right:(
I know I am not in a good place right now and I don't want to control the outcome or have all the answers asap-well who am I kidding I do want that but really, I want this headache to go away! It is hard enough to be bed-resting with a 2 year old who doesn't have any clue about Mommy not feeling good it is about Mommy play/read/wrestle/watch TV with me, please:)
I will hopefully hear something soon, poor Brady has just been hanging out all day waiting and again we together have 1/2 the patience that 1 person should have for things like this....he feels bad wanting to help me and wanting to stop the headache but there is not anything he can do except get his medical license and give that second opinion:)
Wish Me Luck and less of a headache please!
Over the course of this weekend my BP has taken a turn for the worse steadily increasing since Friday night topping out at 171/108 last night before bed and not really going down....I have been following the DR orders and have not really been doing anything for those of you who know me well this sitting around stuff is hard but I have been doing it, totally letting go of work and just trying to find peace.
Today I had my regular "weekly" date with my OB who said well let's get you checked into the hospital and do some testing/monitoring and I would like to get a second opinion before I make any decisions.
Down to Labor and Delivery I go and when she says what room I am going to be in...I laugh a little and say I know which one I have been it 5 times in 2 years now:) We go through all the motions and testing all the while even laying down in a quiet dark room does not bring down the BP below 160/100. The nurse says there is no way he will let you leave here....15 minutes later she comes back to tell me I can go home but that I have to see the specialist today or tom am at the latest, the DR will be right in.
My labs all come back that my organs are functioning fine right now and I don't have toxemia or pre-clampsia so that is a bonus but I am at high risk of having a stroke from the overall BP.....
Dr tells me that I can go home and he wants me to page him as soon as I am done with the DR and we will make the plan then. I really wanted him to give me the steroids that are needed for the lungs today as I don't know how much longer I can go on like this....my head is killing me....but he said maybe we can do more meds or they will have another solution...lets cross that bridge later....I am not really happy with that answer, I know how awful I feel but am trying to go with it as I cannot control everything.
I haven't heard from the specialist as of 230pm so I call the DR and get their number only to find out that didn't see the part of needing it to be today or early tomorrow so can they call me back and again here I wait....
Don't even get me started on Disability/Benefits providers needing me to give them the same information 6 times and they still don't get anything right:(
I know I am not in a good place right now and I don't want to control the outcome or have all the answers asap-well who am I kidding I do want that but really, I want this headache to go away! It is hard enough to be bed-resting with a 2 year old who doesn't have any clue about Mommy not feeling good it is about Mommy play/read/wrestle/watch TV with me, please:)
I will hopefully hear something soon, poor Brady has just been hanging out all day waiting and again we together have 1/2 the patience that 1 person should have for things like this....he feels bad wanting to help me and wanting to stop the headache but there is not anything he can do except get his medical license and give that second opinion:)
Wish Me Luck and less of a headache please!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Day 5-7.....
Ok so it has been a few days and so many things to say.....
Day 5:
We still have traces of the flu and a very cranky Chloe...We spent the night watching Cars and I gave her a Lightening MQueen and Mack Hauler and she was so excited but really wanted the Lady Card...You have got to love the mind of a child.
In regards to me, I have a slight headache which will probably not lead to good things...
Day 6:
BP is on the rise and so is the increase of the pain of the headache:( Chloe went to the Meat Store with Dad and said along the way "Chloe go to Candy Store"...we were doing so good with her just getting what she got and not really grasping the whole shopping and store situation....and now it begins:0)
Day 7:
Was up all night with the pain of the headache, BP is slightly lower today, feeling like it might be time to page the Dr this afternoon if it doesn't get better..
All the thoughts that are going through my head right now are not good....I am going to ask the DR about starting the steroid shots this week as the continuous up and down right now is what is making me the most nervous. I have done a lot of reading about what would happen or be likely to happen with the baby if we had her this week and she will be fine in the end but it is just such a hard wait and doesn't help the stress situation, therin lies the problem-I know:0)
Day 5:
We still have traces of the flu and a very cranky Chloe...We spent the night watching Cars and I gave her a Lightening MQueen and Mack Hauler and she was so excited but really wanted the Lady Card...You have got to love the mind of a child.
In regards to me, I have a slight headache which will probably not lead to good things...
Day 6:
BP is on the rise and so is the increase of the pain of the headache:( Chloe went to the Meat Store with Dad and said along the way "Chloe go to Candy Store"...we were doing so good with her just getting what she got and not really grasping the whole shopping and store situation....and now it begins:0)
Day 7:
Was up all night with the pain of the headache, BP is slightly lower today, feeling like it might be time to page the Dr this afternoon if it doesn't get better..
All the thoughts that are going through my head right now are not good....I am going to ask the DR about starting the steroid shots this week as the continuous up and down right now is what is making me the most nervous. I have done a lot of reading about what would happen or be likely to happen with the baby if we had her this week and she will be fine in the end but it is just such a hard wait and doesn't help the stress situation, therin lies the problem-I know:0)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day 4, For Real This Time
So I got ahead of myself yesterday and labeled it Day 4....I guess I am just looking ahead to what will be great, today not so much......I went in to wake up Chloe at 9am this morning to find her in vomit...and of course as a parent you feel awful because I never heard her cry last night at all...she was incredibly warm with a 103 degree temp and that is how my day started.
It is not so easy to lay down and or relax with a sick little monkey by you who will not stop being sick...When we had Chloe we got tons of baby blankets and today I figured out why...we used them all, I have been doing laundry and cleaning furniture all day.
All day I have been praying that I dont get sick as it was hard enough in the first trimester with how sick I was, I cannot imagine being sick with this watermelon in my belly...I also always wonder if Sydney would get the flu too and would that be bad for her?? So far for me just a headache and a little nauseated....
I finally just got Chloe down for what I hope is the night but will be flexible:).....My mom who watches Chloe during the day is also super sick so I am wishing them both a good nights sleep and feeling better in the am.
It is not so easy to lay down and or relax with a sick little monkey by you who will not stop being sick...When we had Chloe we got tons of baby blankets and today I figured out why...we used them all, I have been doing laundry and cleaning furniture all day.
All day I have been praying that I dont get sick as it was hard enough in the first trimester with how sick I was, I cannot imagine being sick with this watermelon in my belly...I also always wonder if Sydney would get the flu too and would that be bad for her?? So far for me just a headache and a little nauseated....
I finally just got Chloe down for what I hope is the night but will be flexible:).....My mom who watches Chloe during the day is also super sick so I am wishing them both a good nights sleep and feeling better in the am.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Day 4 and Counting
I have settled into a routine of junk TV since that is all that is on during the day....Today there was a ton on last nights state of the Union Address which I did not watch for fear of just hearing him speak would spike my BP so today I had to steer clear of any news channels all day and settled into Access Hollywood and the foodnetwork.....
I didn't know there was such a thing as a fishmonger which is a silly word but turns out there is...I heard Giada talking about hers today so I googled it...I cant stand sea food so this would not be a job for me:)
I finished the first of what I am sure will be many books. The Help by Kathryn Stockett, it was a good read. Next Up is 3 Cocktails by Sophie Kinsella she always has good books.
I have a terrible headache again today and wish for some aspirin because that is the only thing that gets rid of them for me.. I tried tea, ice pack, a nap but still there....This is how it started with the spikes a few weeks ago so lets hope that it is not that...Pressure checks all day have been just under cause for concern.
Good thing Chloe loves reading because I can snuggle up with her on the floor or in my bed and we just read and sing....I wonder how long that will be fun for her.
I decided to start a countdown, my goal is to get into the 36th week and deliver at my hospital so 50 days left...........................................................................................
I didn't know there was such a thing as a fishmonger which is a silly word but turns out there is...I heard Giada talking about hers today so I googled it...I cant stand sea food so this would not be a job for me:)
I finished the first of what I am sure will be many books. The Help by Kathryn Stockett, it was a good read. Next Up is 3 Cocktails by Sophie Kinsella she always has good books.
I have a terrible headache again today and wish for some aspirin because that is the only thing that gets rid of them for me.. I tried tea, ice pack, a nap but still there....This is how it started with the spikes a few weeks ago so lets hope that it is not that...Pressure checks all day have been just under cause for concern.
Good thing Chloe loves reading because I can snuggle up with her on the floor or in my bed and we just read and sing....I wonder how long that will be fun for her.
I decided to start a countdown, my goal is to get into the 36th week and deliver at my hospital so 50 days left...........................................................................................
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Bedrest Day 2
Good Morning, who thought pregnant women with the worst case of heartburn fasting was a great idea??? Seriously up all night, drank tinest bit of Malox I could to try and sleep but I am ready for my draws!
Back-up again I hate needles and this whole blood draw thing...When I went for my first OB with Chloe I passed out cold in the lab with the 6 viles they have to draw and they had to sound the alarm button as I would not wake right up...I have come a long way since then but still hate them.
I have small veins so they say and sometimes it works best for them to use the Child Needle on me...that is only after they dont listen to me tell them where/what arm and to use the child needle that they have stuck me and it's not working.
I am bruised badly from my hospital stay and last weeks glucose test already but who cares right?
This time they have orange and lemon lime drink-what happened to the cola version from last week it's all gone, that's a shame? Who makes a cola version it is disgusting but I am still wondering about the persons mental state that would think that was a good idea...? they have obviously never tasted it or had to do this crap test or they would have found a better flavor.
I brought my Kindle, fashion Mags that I know have time to actually read cover to cover and settled in. I loved the people watching going on in the waiting room today....all the sick little kids who had to do strep tests or have blood drawn they hated it more than I did....but what I found funny was all the women that brought/made thier husbands come to thier appts with them. I know not a sentimental person but many of them just through hearing them talk were not even getting an ultra sound...why would they have to come I wonder as I am sitting there with all my time. This time Brady has not even come, I update him when I leave and show him the ultra sound photos but he is busy and so am I so why would he have to miss work/coaching/or taking care of Chloe to come. Mostly I do the 730pm appts my OB has so I can see some husbands coming then but I have switched to mornings and today sat in his waiting area while doing my tests and am still shaking my head?? I guess this is where someone else will have to chime in.
On the last draw today I actually did start to cry, I think the needle just about went through and seriously my arms could not take it....Praying that these tests work out awesome and I never, well not for a few weeks have to see those people anyway. Yes I cried, it really did hurt this from the girl who always on the pain scale says 2 (low) I just dont either know or care to complain a csection is suppose to hurt right? Contractions are suppose to hurt so what's the pain scale for?
Now I am home and have thought about blogging just to put down my thoughts, keep me busy and cure my need to type, so here we are in the present and as I am sit/laying down I keep reminding myself not lazy for a good cause...will my re-wiring ever kick in? Oh and thank goodness for my Mom still watching Chloe the same as always because bedrest with her running around would be harder than work:)
Back-up again I hate needles and this whole blood draw thing...When I went for my first OB with Chloe I passed out cold in the lab with the 6 viles they have to draw and they had to sound the alarm button as I would not wake right up...I have come a long way since then but still hate them.
I have small veins so they say and sometimes it works best for them to use the Child Needle on me...that is only after they dont listen to me tell them where/what arm and to use the child needle that they have stuck me and it's not working.
I am bruised badly from my hospital stay and last weeks glucose test already but who cares right?
This time they have orange and lemon lime drink-what happened to the cola version from last week it's all gone, that's a shame? Who makes a cola version it is disgusting but I am still wondering about the persons mental state that would think that was a good idea...? they have obviously never tasted it or had to do this crap test or they would have found a better flavor.
I brought my Kindle, fashion Mags that I know have time to actually read cover to cover and settled in. I loved the people watching going on in the waiting room today....all the sick little kids who had to do strep tests or have blood drawn they hated it more than I did....but what I found funny was all the women that brought/made thier husbands come to thier appts with them. I know not a sentimental person but many of them just through hearing them talk were not even getting an ultra sound...why would they have to come I wonder as I am sitting there with all my time. This time Brady has not even come, I update him when I leave and show him the ultra sound photos but he is busy and so am I so why would he have to miss work/coaching/or taking care of Chloe to come. Mostly I do the 730pm appts my OB has so I can see some husbands coming then but I have switched to mornings and today sat in his waiting area while doing my tests and am still shaking my head?? I guess this is where someone else will have to chime in.
On the last draw today I actually did start to cry, I think the needle just about went through and seriously my arms could not take it....Praying that these tests work out awesome and I never, well not for a few weeks have to see those people anyway. Yes I cried, it really did hurt this from the girl who always on the pain scale says 2 (low) I just dont either know or care to complain a csection is suppose to hurt right? Contractions are suppose to hurt so what's the pain scale for?
Now I am home and have thought about blogging just to put down my thoughts, keep me busy and cure my need to type, so here we are in the present and as I am sit/laying down I keep reminding myself not lazy for a good cause...will my re-wiring ever kick in? Oh and thank goodness for my Mom still watching Chloe the same as always because bedrest with her running around would be harder than work:)
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